


cheers to the fall

by taemints



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop, SHINee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Eventual Romance, Flashbacks, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor EXO, POV Third Person, POV Third Person Limited, Past Sexual Assault, Pining, Relationship Goals, inspired by andra day - rise up, jongin is supportive, minor shinee, taemin has depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 06:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12053370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taemints/pseuds/taemints
Summary: and you can't find a fighter / but i see it in you / so we gon' walk it out-jongin had loved taemin since he knew what love even meant, even with taemin's scars. jongin swears to rise up for taemin when taemin can't, and to help him during his dark ages.





	cheers to the fall

> _ you're broken down and tired  
>  _
> 
> _ of living life on a merry-go-round  
>  _

" taemin-ah, wake up. "

> _ and you can't find the fighter  
>  _
> 
> _but i see it in you, so we gon' walk it out_

jongin stood over the bed of a man who he had loved so much. his dark eyes gazed upon the thin, pale frame covered in two- no, three, he added a smaller blanket for himself last night, layers of blankets. this was the man who he had loved since first grade, when he fell off of the swings only to have taemin looking over him in a childish curiosity and quell his tears with a hug. 

jongin and taemin had been inseparable since that day. whenever jongin drove away from taemin after a long day at school, he would pout and have such an attitude. whenever jongin got back into the car to drive and see taemin again, he would be so exuberant and prepared to spend another school day with taemin. they had playdates on the weekends and he would be lying if he denied that there were tears shed when it came time for them to be separated once again. jongin had never wanted to let go of taemin.

he had loved taemin since he knew what love meant.

> _ and move mountains  
>  _
> 
> _ we gon' walk it out  
>  _
> 
> _ and move mountains  
>  _

as the years progressed, jongin and taemin were separated by classroom walls and outside activities and friend groups. taemin took hip hop lessons and jongin was pulled into ballet. taemin started hanging with a tightly knit group of upperclassmen while jongin was pulled into the popular clique that dominated the school. taemin's friend group stayed steadfast; jongin had seen too many people come in and get kicked out of the clique. even then, jongin was always gravitated towards taemin, even with their separation.

jongin would make time for taemin. he would invite taemin to socialize with his clique outside of school (taemin refused, citing vocal lessons). he would encourage taemin to study with him (taemin refused once again; this time the excuse was different schedules). he still sent taemin invitations to his birthday parties every single year (taemin would again refuse, and jongin didn't want to hear why).

he missed taemin, but he found no courage to find taemin again. he still loved taemin, even when taemin didn't.

> _ and i'll rise up  _
> 
> _ i'll rise like the day  
>  _
> 
> _ and i'll rise up  _
> 
> _ i'll rise unafraid  
>  _

it was their last year of school. jongin was at a party, and taemin had passed out on the couch. he didn't know why there was alcohol there in the first place, but it was high school, so he didn't question. taemin had thrown up and fallen onto the couch, and all the cameras were on the darling treasurer and icon of the school. then, jongin saw a hand go to taemin's unconscious body. words that jongin couldn't stomach were said, and jongin felt every muscle in him screaming to go and help. jongin watched in shock and agony as he watched taemin be defiled and ridiculed. it was so odd to watch taemin, who could dance and play piano and sing and do anything conceivable to man, have all of his dignity and hard work crumbled with one too many drinks and the filthy hands of someone unworthy of life.

jongin didn't do anything, and he regretted it more than anything in his life.

> _ i'll rise up  _
> 
> _ and i'll do it a thousand times again  _
> 
> _ and i'll rise up  _
> 
> _ high like the waves _ _  
> ___

ever since that party, taemin had withdrew himself from society. he was suspended for the scandalous and dishonorable videos, along with underage drinking, and was sent to a therapist who just couldn't understand what he had gone through. he was stripped of his status, his pride, and he had been left all alone from the multitudes of people that used to crowd around him in the halls. instead of sitting at the crowded table in the center of the cafeteria, taemin sat in the library and pored over schoolwork. 

jongin remembered sitting next to him in complete silence. 

when everyone was going to prom ("come on," said sehun. "it'll be fun." "i can't," jongin had replied), jongin was sitting with taemin on his couch as he ran his fingers through his hair. when everyone was going to graduation afterparties ("are you going this time?" sehun had asked him. "i can't," jongin had replied), jongin was holding taemin's hand as they watched fireworks from taemin's porch.

" jongin, " taemin started. he looked at jongin, and jongin's heart broke when he saw sunken eyes and a paler face. " why are you still here? "

" because i can be, " jongin said after a period of silence. 

" ah, i see, " taemin muttered. he held jongin's hand still as he cast his gaze towards the ground. 

it was silent around them once again. only the booms of the fireworks could be heard around them, yet they were the last thing on either mind.

jongin didn't leave him that time. he still loved taemin, even if the world told him not to.

> _ i'll rise up  _
> 
> _ in spite of the ache  
>  _
> 
> _ i'll rise up  _
> 
> _ and i'll do it a thousand times again  
>  _

" taemin-ah, " jongin said again, softly as he gently shooked taemin. he was only met with a groan and a turn. he sighed as he gazed at taemin's back, covered with three (yes, it was three) layers of blankets for maximum comfort on the taemin scale.

" i don't want to get up today, " taemin muttered after a few moments of silence.

" you have to, " jongin replied with a soft tone. he sat beside taemin, and ran his fingers through taemin's bleach blonde locks. he was pleased as taemin instinctively relaxed. he loved it when taemin did that. he felt like he was helping.

" i don't want to, " taemin repeated. taemin curled up more, and feebly tried to scootch away, yet was stopped by a lethargic protest of taemin's muscles.

jongin sighed as he leaned down and kissed taemin's head through his hair. he stroked it still. it was one of those days. it was one of those days where taemin could barely drag himself out of bed. it was one of those days where taemin was silent, and unresponsive for most of the day. today was one of those days were taemin could break down at the smallest thing. today was just one of those days. 

" can you at least open the blinds for me? " jongin asked as he gently started to remove the covers. he peeled them off slowly, meticulously, one by one. taemin didn't seem to protest. jongin sighed. he must've been exhausted, mentally.

there was a silence between them. taemin stared blankly into nothingness, and jongin gently set a hand on his boyfriend's figure. 

" yeah, " taemin mumbled after a few more moments of silence.

he laid there for a bit more before slowly crawling out of bed. jongin smiled at him warmly as he moved off to the side. he watched with pride as taemin swung his legs over the side of the bed, and as he stood up to walk over to the window to the other side of the room.

" you're amazing, " jongin breathed as taemin opened the blinds. sunlight streamed into the room, and jongin felt a shiver of warmth and pride go from his very top of his head to the bottom of his toes.

" i just opened the blinds, " taemin mumbled as he immediately went back towards the bed. he collapsed onto the bed and curled up. 

jongin nodded, as if he was saying, 'that's exactly my point'. as he watched taemin fall again, he didn't sigh in exasperation, didn't reprimand him in an effort to teach, and didn't express any disappointment. he instead moved closer to taemin and gently took his hand and squeezed it. who was he to demand taemin come out of a slump like magic? he knew the very idea was absurd. he would've never asked that of taemin. he looked down at taemin with utmost adoration and love for taemin, even if taemin didn't harbor those feelings for himself.

" i'll go make food, " jongin offered. he lowered his head, and kissed taemin gently on the forehead. 

taemin nodded blankly, but jongin saw his eyes light up a bit as he was kissed on the forehead. that, jongin believed, was enough of a motivation for him to get up, rise up, and take care of the man he loved. taemin was someone jongin loved more than words could even hope to explain. the love that jongin harbored for taemin was enough to move mountains.   


jongin loved taemin, and the spark in taemin's eyes told jongin that he loved him too.

> _ and we'll rise up  
>  _
> 
> _ in spite of the ache  
>  _
> 
> _ we'll rise up  _
> 
> _ and we'll do it a thousand times again  
>  _


End file.
